Between the Posts: How Sports Shaped My Identity and Mental Health"

Sports have certainly played an outsized role in my life since I was very young. In fact, I would say my journey as an athlete could be seen to accurately mirror my overall journey in life. The sport that I have stuck with since my youth and the sport that has had the most impact on my life has been soccer. I have had a bit of an up and down journey in the sport and have certainly had my fair share of struggles. I play goalkeeper which comes with some inherent physical and mental risks. If you, as a goalkeeper, make one mistake it will most likely be your defining moment in that game and could go on to define you as a player. This fact means that keepers must be both level headed and exceedingly confident in their abilities due to the fact that we get so few moments to prove our abilities to our teammates and ourselves in game. I know that for myself if I underperform in those crucial moments, my sense of self and belonging in a team or in the sport as a whole can be severely impacted. I have struggled with this sense of belonging and self worth in sports in intermittent periods during my time playing soccer. I have learned through the sport that my mental health can be severely impacted by performance on the field as said performance often bleeds into your social lives with your teammates outside of the sport. I have also learned that the social connections made off the field play a huge role in one's mental health on the field as when you have someone to pick you up when you make a mistake your overall confidence and ability improves majorly.

With that being said, I think it is clear that sports contribute majorly to my sense of self, especially in terms of my view of masculinity. I have observed that sports have often been a realm of being where weakness is frowned upon. When I step on to the soccer field or into the pool for a game of waterpolo I often become engrossed in a peculiar heir of seriousness, that I would otherwise not be. This seriousness certainly impacts my mental health as displaying weakness on the field can be seen to speak to an overall sense of character by your peers. If you don’t portray strength in sports I think it is hard to gain the respect of your peers in school or in social settings. So if you underperform or are merely not as talented as another person your mental health and view of self will be impacted. In addition to this sentiment, I believe the sports you play can also have an impact on the stigmas you could experience around being a strong man. There are certain sports that are seen as traditionally masculine and if you don’t fit the mold of the type of person these sports attract you could struggle to find connection among your teammates. This lack of connection could lead to a mental health crisis. Additionally, if you play a sport that is not traditionally considered to be masculine it can be hard to live up to the standards around being a strong man. 

Ultimately, sports have played a big role in my life. Not just as an outlet for physical exertion but as a core aspect of my life. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly that sports have to offer I can confidently say that I have learned a lot about myself from participating in the games I love and I would feel privileged to have the opportunity to pass on the knowledge I have gained to the next generation of athletes in my life.