The Quiet Escape: How Soccer Became My Therapy When Words Fell Short

For me, sports have always been more than just competition. They’ve been a way to relax, decompress, and escape. When I’m on the field, everything else fades. The noise in my head, the pressure of school, the complications of relationships, they all take a backseat. Soccer gives me one thing I struggle to find elsewhere: presence. When I’m playing, I’m not in my past mistakes or future anxieties. I’m just there.

In moments where I’ve felt emotionally stuck or overwhelmed, soccer has kept me grounded. It’s helped me put things in perspective. A tough day doesn’t feel so big when I’m sprinting down the sideline or lining up a pass. The sport doesn’t erase the pain or pressure, but it gives me space to breathe.

As a man, I’ve often struggled to talk about what I’m feeling, or even admit that I’m feeling anything at all. It’s not that anyone around me told me to stay quiet. But there’s a kind of unspoken pressure to handle things alone. To fix your own problems. To stay composed, always. That’s the version of masculinity I saw growing up, not just in people, but in everything around me.

From the movies we watch to the stories we read, there’s this constant message: strong men are silent. They don’t cry. They don’t break. They carry the weight without ever showing the strain. And while that message is being challenged more today, it’s still deeply rooted. It’s hard to unlearn. It’s hard to say, “I’m struggling,” when everything you’ve absorbed tells you that struggle equals weakness.

That’s why soccer has meant so much to me—not just as a sport, but as a quiet form of healing. It gave me a space to process, to release, even when I didn’t have the words. And sometimes, being in the moment is exactly what you need when everything else feels out of control.

Student Athlete Description: My name is Asa Wendler, and I was born and have lived all my life in San Francisco. Currently, I am a Junior at Lick Wilmerding High School. I have worked as a camp counselor, an election official, a volunteer soccer coach, and in a surf shop. I am the president of two clubs, Study Club and Ski Club, and I am the founder of Study Club. I have volunteered at a number of organizations, including, but not limited to, Portola Valley Greenway and Project Open Hand. Within my school, I have been both a peer tutor and a peer mentor. During my senior year, I will also be a teaching assistant. Lastly, I have played club soccer for around 10 years, and I have also been a competitive skier, where I have medaled in multiple competitions.